I would say the real beginning of Mandermania began its formation when I first discovered my depression. I didn't fall into depression. Depression courted me, took me by the hand, helped me curl up into that tight little ball inside myself. It was like a mole that I had no idea was there until the doctor made the discovery and announced the diagnosis - you're depressed. I didn't want it just like any other ailment. What was even more confounding was I had no reason to be depressed. I suppose that's how the patient whose just found out they have cancer feels when they are the utmost example of healthy living, yet they have been dealt the joker card. Still, I decided to fight and do what I had to to get better. For quite awhile I revelled in my depression. I disconnected from the social world, dyed my hair, pierced my nose and didn't give much of a care about anything. I was trying to figure myself out.
We all have our monsters. I've battled mine so they stay in a small corner, but I also learned that they are a big part of me and although the past is behind me, it doesn't make it any easier to forget. In the midst of all this self-discovery, I have also discovered the beauty and irony of my life. I have uncovered miracles and madness in the smallest things. I have fallen in love with love. I have created Mandermania. I hope you enjoy...
